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Arcana Continua

by Sheridan Woika

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1.
2.
I know myself Far too well To walk into your traps I just can't stay Away Away See the world revolving In its way Something takes over me I don't know what to say Screaming and flailing Ripped apart To bits Aren't they beautiful All the things I hide And aren't they incredible The lengths we go to To lie To conjure excuses In the blink of an eye I let it pass me by I sink into myself Oh, no I don't know What I meant by all of this What it all meant I felt the urge To say one more thing before I go Watch the world revolving Straight past me I'm invisible My heart is racing (I'm invisible) Cry into a camera (I'm invisible) Erase the film (I'm invisible) We will leave behind (I'm invisible) A total lack of space I'm frozen in awe at all The wonderful things I'll do It's incredible The lengths I go to To lie To tell these silly stories To lie to myself I let it pass me by I drift away, I sink into myself I sink in I sink in I sink in Charge ahead, chariot Chariot Chariot
3.
Desires of the flesh Those long nights I regret These moments I will soon forget My body spent I've done my time In the red corners, climbed high I swell and shrink I'm entering the twilight of my life Where the sun don't shine Choke it down Inviting whatever surrender may come marching through me I never imagined it'd end that way I never imagined it'd end that way And there I am I'm asleep in my harness I'm suspended by the webs I weave I head outside It's a lonesome kind of night Cars all stopped along the ice It looks like Christmas time I slip and slide Shift the four wheel drive It was worth it all the while It was worth it all the while Oh, Inviting whatever surrender may come marching through me I never imagined it'd end that way I never imagined it, oh Inviting whatever surrender may come marching through me (No, no) I never imagined it'd end that way White holler, just plum fresh Dance the beehive in a thrift store dress Do it, oh I ain't here for the conversation Just make me scream There I am Asleep in my harness Suspended by the webs I weave Some jasper from up yonder Just passes right by my car My face torn up and frozen Like a movie star Long time listener, first time caller I'm stuck chewing my cigar No one hears me when I holler No one leaves the reservoir I never thought it'd end this way I never imagined it'd end that way (I never thought it'd end this way) I never imagined it'd end that way (I never thought it'd end this way) I never imagined it'd end that way I never imagined it'd end that way I never imagined it'd end that way
4.
Yeah Walk to the ends of the world Just don't fall off It's the dream that you chased come true Assigning so much meaning to the scribbles Prescribed it but you just can't seem to swallow Getting high off something old and new and borrowed Backing up against the wall And you'll reap what you sow And you're all alone Oh, no You make friends You make a whole new family Tear their guts and heart out, one by one You'll snap You'll go down By the end of the night Oh You're in no hurry, try to take your time Yeah you'd better hurry, you'd better not cry But your path just cracks Now you can't find your way back Stop fighting, stop Cease the action Ring the bell Lay and fumigate and stink like hell I promise you will break You will break down something You will break, you will break, you will break Oh You got guts, I'll give you that You gnash teeth, you give an old-fashioned fight You'll snap You'll go down By the end of the night, man You can't trust, you can't trust no one (Can't trust no one) No energy, no, no focus at all (No focus at all) And it's all my fault (It's my fault) Yeah, I just exist to cause your fall Ha ha ha... And there's no one There's no one who can break your fall Oh, no Assigning so much meaning to the scribbles We're prescribed it but we just can't seem to swallow Getting high off something old and new and borrowed Backing up against the wall We're against the wall And you'll reap what you sow And you're all alone Oh, no
5.
You were all I was when I was nothing You were all I wished for, all I'd ever know You're like the thought of rain in a dry spell Just like the real thing Now here comes that grasping spark The light reflects against your dulling eyes And the wind picks up outside It's the falling mist It's the rising fog The shadow cast by... ... Everything you own was with you when you died Hold your hands and I'll hold mine And the sweat, the sweat comes pouring out And a squeak escapes my mouth And I'm quiet for a while I don't want to be the one, the one who leads you To the other side I don't like the way that hurts No, no, no No one ever says "I'm sorry, and I know it's not your fault" When I tell them I buried you Lifetime spent holding my breath Just holding my breath Just holding my breath Lifetime spent just holding my breath Holding my breath Holding my breath I place you and I cry I replace you, or I try Holding my breath Holding my breath You'll always be the one, the one who comes to mind And stays there through the twists and snares of time Oh, oh In a final twist One last surprise We were worth each other's time We were worth each other's time We were worth each other's time
6.
Hidden with your eyes closed It's not fair, it's too loud Back behind the cabinets or buried in a drawer It's digging out a space under the basement Dig a little more The sweetness and the bitterness, lapeles The cinnamon, the broomsticks, and the bells Did you ever think You'd be afraid Of losing, losing yourself? So much To each her own You lock the door When Jason emerges from the lake Hilarious you thought that you were safe You know Storms, bad weather Or whatever comes your way You are stronger Through hell, I know you've always felt (You have always felt) You could just vanish (You would vanish) Vanish into dust and watch them blow Blow Blow When Jason emerges from the lake The music swells, the camera shakes I know it's sick for me to think But if I vanish with you I will blow away too, it's cruel It's gone and it can be replaced Somehow things start falling into place Into place Into place
7.
See how the losers fight their way to the grave Stones all unturned, carts from Safeway All the old folks' home with their complex maps Happy faces, thin wrists It's a tribute to the war crimes It's a Catholic casino You don't have to like it Oh, it never seems to end the way you planned Nothing hilarious about it, I'm still laughing At all the faces I can't understand All the faces I can't understand God bless you, baby God bless you, hanged man God bless you, Cheshire Cat ... See how the workers wear their hands to the bone See how they struggle and laugh as the wimps get owned All the merchant ships, talking shit, get punked Tricked to thinking they got immunity, oh It's frozen macaroni and cheese You don't have to like it All the colors start to run and your face peels Off of the burning summer pavement, red designs Left behind, that I'll never understand Oh, I'll never understand God bless you, baby God bless you, hanged man God bless you, Cheshire Cat ... See how the guards string you up in the square You laugh, and the people just stare All the witchcraft hits, and the stars fade in Hints of crimson, jet black And they're all gonna pay It's a pure inevitability, revelation day Screaming as you're burning Oh, hints of crimson, beet red Yeah, they're all gonna pay Yeah, they're all gonna pay (Beet red) Oh Now it's the way you pictured fading out this life It was all you could've hoped for, this short time And your blood runs cold, and it fills your lungs And you scream like a rat when they cut off your tongue And when they drag your broken body from the crucifixion And when they organize to burn you but they're unsuccessful And when you shred them and decapitate them, You are still around them and your spirit comes to haunt them Like a Cheshire Cat And when the life force leaves their bodies you can start devouring And when you steal them and you turn their lives to fuel And when you grow into a monster and you make the world anew You feel invincible, incredible, immortalized and blessed And blessed, and blessed, and blessed God bless you, baby God bless you, hanged man God bless you, Cheshire Cat
8.
A crashing noise awakes me from sleep And I rise from the beach I point my toes and breathe I pirouette, The sea, in turn, begets Waves of broken bottles Glass in its purest form And now I know that death is easy And dying is easier than living with this Whip my face toward the coast and face the air Wind a distant, foggy memory So ancient now Ocean slowed now, to a halt I wipe my sweat I take a bow, I take a bow As a shining mess breaks over me I'm a ball of yarn, a quilt freshly undone The needles always struggle for my veins But the veins have all run dry And there's chaos in the sky I'm joining everything Great fires, like sewing machines In ballet shoes, I'm a beautiful thing to see And I laugh out loud Til it cracks my eardrums I'm spitting up organs I'm coughing up blood Oh, oh... I am nothing, I'm nothing, nothing in the ashes of it Scream for help, from pain, scream for its own sake I live like I'm dying (Like I'm dying) I'm uncontrollably sympathizing (I can't predict the waves) I was going to be, I was going to be (I was going to be) I was going to be, I was going to be (I was going to be) I was going to be a moment ...
9.
Ooh, ooh I will wash up on the shore in the same exact place Crawling through the quicksand like a sunburned Sisyphus Maggots on my hands, nails strung through my calves (Naught waits for us but hollow grief) Je ferais semblant (Empty cries across the sea) Je me tenir occupé I will watch for any minor change The ocean comes to a rest No waves ... Oh, Death Oh, Death Oh, Death Oh, Death
10.
I was old inside my orbit Satisfied just floating down the sink I had seen all that I thought I'd need to see But when the first day of spring comes waltzing on in I'm rising up again I wake up next to you It goes by in a flash, yeah Every season shorter than the last Live a lifetime in a day, sometimes But I won't have to do it by myself The reflection of me beaming in your eyes I never thought so good as as that little part of you I'm rising up again I wake up next to you It all goes by so fast, yeah Every season shorter than the last It's flashes of old bedrooms And moments you'd mischievously grin Moving in and sneaking out of closets Never getting back any deposits It's every time you said you loved me And all the times I'd try to say it back It's every time you told me you believed me I never really thanked you for that Since I was little, I always hated being touched Half my life spent lashing out and buried in myself Something brushes against me and I almost flinch And somehow, something's different now I finally understand it I'm finally coming home Coming really home .. I'm poking through and spreading out I am learning how to trust I'm emerging alongside you Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial us Perennial, perennial us, us

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released October 31, 2021

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Sheridan Woika Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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